1.

Scottish Gas: feck off.

We aren't using the gas. At all. At All. AT ALL. Clear enough? Stop sending the hate-mail bills. I've been in the house when ybunny's called you on two occasions explaining that. I've called you myself today, because it's not nice to threaten people with the police, warrents, and £250 in penalties for something not being use.

Yes, we will eventually have gas central heating and mayhap a gas cooker. At present, all we have is one pipe, connected to nothing, in the hall closet.

I know that this is at least the third time you've used these scare tactics on us, it makes me want to stay with electric. At least their meter man is friendly.

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2.

Aberdeen drivers: feck off.

There's a reason for that wee orange-y red box at traffic lights. Bicycles.

Don't edge forward onto them while the light's red, don't try to nudge the bicycles that are waiting on them when the light's amber, don't try to run over bicycles that might be still in them when the light's green.

I admit, cycling when it is windy and rainy was not perhaps the best idea. However, when I left the house, it was clear and still. I'm putting out maximum effort to keep going forward in a head wind. All you're doing is pressing down your foot. Let's think about who should wait for whom...especially when it will only cost you 30 seconds.

Oh, and thanks for giving me the fingers as I tried to turn into Rose St. and not cycle into three unloading lorries and a granny jaywalking. I'd be madder about you sideswiping me, but you almost hit her in your fit of 'cars own the road'. I'd watch myself if I were you. Old ladies have lethal handbags at times.