I went this morning to see Pirate 3. At 9:40 am! Movies in the morning? Who knew?
Based on the fact that the bleeding movie is 3 hours long, it's a good thing. I'd have been well asleep if I'd gone at night.
As a foreword, I go to see movies for four reasons.
1) They remove me from reality and allow something that I think would interesting to happen...when it definitely could not
happen in the confines of normal reality.
2) It is a period piece and I get to see fun costumes. I'm just a costume junkie.
3) It is an adaptation of a play/book/event that I thought interesting and I want to compare the two.
4) It stars an actor/actress that I have enjoyed performances from previously.
That doesn't mean I don't end up seeing some real trainwrecks that make me want to scrub my brain with bleach. But, generally, those are the four guidelines.
The first of the Pirates trilogy satisfied three of the four.
1) The movie was about Disney pirates...which don't hold a candle to the dastardly deeds of the real pirates. Therefore, they could be sympathetic characters and create a silly adventure.
2) Everyone's in a costume. More importantly, there are British navyboys in uniform.
4) Jack Davenport. Hilarious in Coupling, enigmatic in This Life.
Very enjoyable. Good job, Bruckheimer, et al.
Pirates 2 should have been a happy experience, but I felt as though they sold out some of the characters and played too much to the jokes and not the plot. The jokes were good, but they'd be better with a more intricate plot.
Today I saw Pirates 3, as I said.Since the RSS feed to Aberdeen Blogs strips the cut, I'll remind everyone that SPOILERS will be below.
The plot for this one seems to be Jack wants to be immortal, Will must chose between Elizabeth and his father, Elizabeth must decide if she really wants to be a pirate, and freedom is better than order.
Jack gets loads of good lines in. He calls Will a 'yeasty codpiece', decides that he doesn't 'have the face for tentacles', calls a rowdy pirate fight 'politics', and then is back to insulting Will by calling him a 'tool' near the end.
It had been Jack's intention to stab Davy Jones' heart and become the captain of the Dutchman and live forever, but balks at the idea of having to leave this universe to ferry souls.
Will steps into his own as the romantic hero in this film. The interactions between Will and Elizabeth have become more than just lines. Orlando Bloom seemed to do some of his acting with his tongue, and I don't mean speaking or kissing. In a bizarre sort of way, it was well done.
Keira Knightley still falls short of the mark though. I've finally figured her out. She tries to maintain cute...which means she isn't convincing, nor truly beautiful. I'd like to remind everyone of the French proverb that intimates that to be truly beautiful, you must be truly ugly. The fact that she's aware of her own performance takes something away from what it could be.
However, Will does choose Elizabeth. They marry during the height of the battle scene and then Will goes to...well, it's not clear what he's planning on doing when he swings over to the Dutchman.
He's stabbed by Davy Jones when Jones realizes that Will and Elizabeth are in love. Jones thinks to make Elizabeth as miserable as himself, I suppose.
Before Will expires, Jack brings him to heart to stab. Will's father carves out his heart and Will becomes Captain Turner of the Flying Dutchman.
Elizabeth accepts her place as part of the pirates. She's even king for a while.
The supporting cast provide comic relief again as ever.
I was disappointed to see that Jack Davenport's character, James Norrington, was only in 4 scenes.
1) He's returned the Turner blade he received when promoted to Commodore in Pirates 1. He and Governor Swann share a look. Presumably, Norrington is questioning his loyalties.
2) Norrington comes onto the Dutchman with Davy Jones' heart. He sets Murtogg and Mullroy, from the first film, to guard it. (The prove to be Dweedle Dee and Dweedle Dum-like again.)
3) Norrington takes Elizabeth's boat (just after she was gifted it by Sao Feng) and she spits vitriol at him about choosing the wrong side. His conflict between order and the right is not shown, but presumably he goes and has a think about it.
4) His last scene has him letting Elizabeth and crew out of the brig of the Dutchman and letting them shimmy back to their boat via the lead ropes tied between the late Sao Feng's boat and the Dutchman.
Norrington tells Elizabeth, 'Our destinies were entwined, but never joined.' He kisses her and she's off on the ropes. Bootstrap Bill Turner, presumably half mad, discovers them and raises the alarm and dispatches Norrington. Davy Jones takes the Turner blade off Norrington.
Things I didn't understand the point of in the movie.
-Why did Calypso need to become so big. Why didn't she just become incorporeal once released?
-Why did Sao Feng call Elizabeth 'Calypso'?
Basically, the whole Calypso thing was a bit muddled. Maybe the deleted scenes will explain things a bit better.
Luckily Geoffrey Rush's character, Barbossa, saved the movie for me. Rush is an incredibly talented actor and to be honest I was a bit surprised to see him in the first movie.
One of the plot points is the 9 pieces of 8 (I don't get it either) which bind Calypso.
The pirate lords are asked to place their pieces in a trencher.
Except they're not pieces of 8. They're just bits.
Ragetti: These aren't pieces of 8!
Barbossa: Did you want to call them 'eight pieces of whatever we happened to have in our pockets'?
There is a bit after the credits. If you can't stand the wait, I'll tell you that Elizabeth presumably got pregnant during her one day with Will before he goes away to ferry souls. Elizabeth and child stand on a cliff watching the Dutchman reappear and sail towards them. Will stands in the rigging smiling as he sails along.
That was incredibly muddled. Ah, well.
I'm just disappointed, I suppose. I thought Pirates 1 was a tightly written, interesting film, and Pirates 2 and 3 were just sort of...there.(Once/If you get around to seeing it) Let me know what you thought of the film.